"A man can know his father, or his son, and there might still be nothing between them but loyalty and love and mutual incomprehension." (7)A prevailing theme in Gilead is the relationship between parents and their children, and in particular between fathers and sons. Often there's a tension at the core of those relationships, and it's that tension that influences the sons' future beliefs. Since there are so many facets to this theme thanks to the great number of parent/child combinations, I thought the most logical place to begin was with John Ames and his relationship with his son - who he is confident will be become "an excellent man," but who he claims he "will love absolutely even if you are not" (73) vs. his relationship with his namesake, John Ames Boughton - old Boughton's "Prodigal Son" and the godson John once claimed he "was never able to warm to" (188). What might account for John's ability to forgive one son of anything versus his struggle to forgive the other for anything? In what way is John's history with his brother, father, and grandfather affecting these present-day relationships?
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Fathers and Sons
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I think the primary reason that John Ames struggled in his relationship with Jack is that Jack grew up entirely during that long "bitter" period of his life between the death of his wife and child yet before he met his wife and she bore him a son. Jack, through no fault of his own, was a constant reminder to John of the family life he desired so much. I don't mean to forgive Jack his offenses - he did some pretty terrible things in his young life - but I think John's sadness and, yes, a tinge of bitterness, prevented him from dealing with Jack as well as he could have otherwise.
ReplyDeleteHis son, on the other hand, is the product of an unexpected and happy marriage late in life. He also hasn't had the opportunity to grow up and adopt any of the behaviors of Jack Boughton, that ranged from rude to annoying prankster to outright sinner. At 7 or 8 years old, it's very easy for most parents to think the world of their children, and to be unable to conceive of them being involved in behavior that would elicit the kind of revulsion that John Ames had for Jack.
I think Paul's right - a big reason for the difference between the two sons is the fact that Jack has actually done some pretty bad things, whereas his actual son seems like a very good kid. However, there's still something here that's nagging at me.
ReplyDeleteI guess a large part of what bugs me is the story of Jack's baptism (188). It came to John as a surprise that the boy would be given his name, and his initial reaction is resentment. "..my heart froze in me and I thought, This is not my child - which I truly had never thought of any child before." He later goes on to say "I have thought from time to time that the child felt how coldly I went about his christening, how far my thoughts were from blessing him...and I do feel a burden of guilt towards that child." It seems that even from Jack's infancy John resented him, that he disappointed him before he was even capable of doing anything disappointing. Why?
John's reaction to Jack is pretty simple in my opinion - he saw the surprise naming as an act of pity on the part of his best friend. It's like he said "Here, John... your life is empty, no wife, no children, so I'll just give you one of my billions of kids." I'm not saying that's how Boughton felt about the situation but I can easily see how it could be construed that way but a lonely, proud, bitter old preacher.
ReplyDeleteNobody, no matter how good, enjoys being pitied, and Jack was a constant reminder that Boughton pitied him for his lack of a family.
I think that maybe John couldn't understand how Boughton could love Jack so much until he contemplated his own son more. The journal that John was writing allowed him some inner reflection that he was not capable of without writing it down and seeing it in front of him.
ReplyDeleteI also think that the reason that the reason he felt he would stop writing is that he had finally worked out his relationship with Jack, not because he was done talking with his own son.